Funny Instagram Captions

1000+ funny Instagram captions. Download and share them with your friends & followers.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
If I had a British accent, I’d never shut up.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Drinkin’ Rum before 10am makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic.
The more laundry I do, the less crazy nudists seem.
Cleaning with kids in the house is liking brushing your teeth with Nutella.
If I send you ugly selfies, your friendship is real.
Sweat like a pig to look like a fox.
Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it.
If only Pizza was healthy.
I love Fridays like Kanye loves Kanye.
I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.